Imagine you’re putting some numbers on some graph, and you’re representing them in terms of bars. Let’s assume that the range for this set of numbers is small, so you’re writing down 15, then 10, then 22, 18, 20, 9, 14 – You’d be left with something like this:
Now let’s assume you suddenly add a 1000:
Did you notice what happened?
Differences between initial numbers we had became instantly small & unnoticed.
This is exactly what happens in real life when you expose yourself to new experiences.
Extreme events instantly put everything else in context.
Context here means: The Bigger Picture.
You can see this effect when you go through one life event or experience and all of a sudden everything else is adjusted accordingly – These events could range from:
- Someone you love passes away
- Health of someone you love is affected
- you go through a spiritual healing journey
- You move out of your city
- You find or lose a romantic partner
- Your aspirations turn out to be a reality
or anything in between.
I felt it 6 years ago when my grandparents died, I felt it 7 years ago when I went through a tough breakup, I felt it 4 years ago when I went through a home robbery, I feel it every time I win, and I feel it every time I lose. Every time I’m overly glad or overly concerned.
All of a sudden, you reflect back on some of your biggest concerns in life and think: Did it really matter that much? Was it worth it? And then you find that much of the stuff we obsess about is not in fact that big.
There’s this under-explored concept that I cherish so much, it’s called “Hedonic Adaptation”.
Hedonic Adaptation states that after extreme events, whether positive or negative, we often return back to a baseline of happiness. And it explains 1. why we don’t get hyped for so long when we achieve goals we long strived for and 2. why we go on and forget when tragic stuff happens.
The aim is not to chase spikes, but rather increase the baseline, which naturally happens when you teach yourself how to be happy throughout the day to day. Not only when certain stuff happens.
And from here, I find that maintaining the bigger picture is the quickest way to sustain your happiness baseline, everyday.
I no longer see any point of obsessing over anything for the most part, but I have goals and I know they don’t consume me as long as I’m keeping context.