No other way to say this; I can’t make it make sense because it doesn’t. Last October, the last thing I would’ve wanted from me was to move on and forget. We’re on Day 200+ of an active genocide that has been in the background through Christmas, Ramadan, and now Spring. We’re seeing videos of people in tents who were once freezing in the middle of the winter now suffering from the extreme heat of the summer. A sane mind wouldn’t imagine how’s this even possible.
Few months later I did everything I once believed I wouldn’t do. I’m not sure if there are lots of people like me and I honestly don’t care. Life never stops, it’s sad, tragic. The foreground has to go on no matter what despise we are having for the backdrop – Now I’ve seen a photo of a girl whose whole body is burnt including face, and she’s still alive, and I will go on with everything, try to enjoy music, and make sense of every other thing, simultaneously. Both events within the same day, and nothing is expected to change.
This is one of the saddest things really. Powerlessness and despair. I’ve read an essay called “I can’t sleep” and I relate to most of it, especially back in October, when I was really feeling it. But now we sleep. Now it seems like the world is really really really fcked up to a point that taking some time to make sense of things will be a total waste. I’m guilty and it seems I don’t know if I’ll ever get better.