tags
mindfulnessconsciousness
- Late last year I discovered The Map of Consciousness - A matrix that identifies where do you lie
- In 2020 / At some point i found that what it takes would be to embrace the duality - the duality of existing in both worlds simultaneously
- cultivating, tending, and nourshing your internal world
- while caring about people, work, friends, and real life
- i found there’s just no way around it
- i think you’d find most introverts good with the latter and most extroverts good with the former
- again - no way around it
- most successful people will HAVE to have their internal work sorted out - this demands that you probably do shadow work that doesnt seem to account for much - but IRL it’s slowly building who you are
- your internal work is how you build character - how you identify what do you belong with - it;s the only compass that dictates what to say no to and what to say yes to
- i know if i stayed more silent - i would experience more of what makes me capable to express more about how i see the world
- i have a daily checklist item called ‘silent time’ - in the beginning i used to call it ‘meditation’ - but i found sometimes i wouldnt just be able to formerly ‘meditate’ everyday + meditate is just a flexible term most people dont even know what it is about, including me, is it staying silent? is it just closing your eyes? is it feeling your surroundings? is it having no thoughts for a brief amount of time? is it a daily walk alone? - but i was trying to answer that i started paying attention to what activities i do that let me experience the same upside - then after some time i started to just call it ‘silent time’
- what happens during this silent time? and why aim to have silent time anyway?
- at one point along the way, i started thinking: as long as im doing it, im also renewing that exact feeling of ‘noticing’ - when i stop doing it, i kind of have to start again as if it’s from scratch - think about this: the more you’re silent, the more you notice
- this made me think - the normal, fast, flow of life wouldn’t ever allow me to do this if i gave it the chance - on every new day, everyone seems to <get ahold of you for …> and there’s generally this pull that won’t stop if you dont do anything about it
- the act of staying silent is to your mental awareness as bathing is to your physical hygiene - that is to say: it has to be renewed
- i think people who do this everyday are people who mastered a very rare skill: ‘thinking about your thoughts’
- returning to the map of conc above - it’s now very evident to me that as someone goes higher the map, i.e towards absolute enlightenment, they would also ‘think about their thoughts’ way more often - ‘noticing’ is the very first act towards ‘rising’
- since long ago i kind of knew that this scale of ‘emotion’ existed
- i think it was somewhere around 2019 or 20 when i was discussing a post i had just found that shook my world for a few weeks - this post was: https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/10/religion-for-the-nonreligious.html
- so just by remembering that fact i acknowledge that the concept had been there somewhere in the back of my mind but i didn’t quite know what to do with it
- also - i have read multiple posts about ‘religions for the non-religious’ - like for example, a couple years later i read https://fortelabs.com/blog/why-im-not-a-christian-a-testimony-of-losing-faith/ - i dont endorse being non-religious, and in fact im now writing a post on how i found salvation - called ‘the year i found god’
- but this map put it into perspective for me
- for years i didn’t quite see how being more ‘enlightened’ would help with achieving other basic things i need out of life like good health or better status or deeper relationships - until i learned this map
- i learned that good things come in tandem - you cannot cherrypick - so by paying attention to ‘where you are on the spectrum of conc’, you’re consciously choosing which package you ‘subscribe’ to
- towards the lower end - you’re experiencing rage, apathy, and loss
- towards the higher end - you’re experiencing abundance, connection, and stillness
- later in my life, when i come across people that seem to shout ‘more love’, i no longer think ‘they’re crazy’ - i now jump to thinking ‘they have experienced it’ right away
- earlier, i used to think they were delulu - i used to nod. like ‘what do you mean? of course i will not focus on hate, of course im better than that, dont worry about me im fine’
- 6-7 years ago, at the back of my head, when i met someone on that frequency, i will just say to them what they’d want to listen - then afterwards i’d immediately think: these people might still need to get more in touch with the actual world, or whatever
- i later learned that THAT was because i didn’t understand it - and i didnt understand it because i was not supposed to do at the time - it now makes perfect sense
- in the beginning it might seem highly unintuitive, i know
- BUT - it’s crazy in life how you can jump between extremely different timelines through just ‘thoughts’ - like you can switch onto fulfilling, abundant, and nurturing paths just by slowly managing and guardrailing your thoughts step-by-step until you’re there
- crazily enough, when you think like that, it acts like a magnet - i honestly think at this point i have repeated this multiple times but this is only because i still think i haven’t captured that well in writing - at least how i would like to
- i still think that one of the primary goals from learning how to get better at writing and get better at thinking is to express this exact idea in better ways (/ in a more holistic ways)
- i think if i can express everything i experience from a conc point of view (human conc) in writing - that would be it - that i ‘have made it’
- i still dont think this is possible - and to me it serves as this north star that is unreachable but also fulfilling everytime i get closer
- i dont think (haven’t consumed, or at least that i know of) this type of work exist - i think there are lots of people who wrote about how they experience their inner worlds in crisp writing, of course - but i dont think this can even be a generalized form of writing/work
- i think what makes something like this so good is because it’s so personal to the writer - so by way of experiencing something that feels so unique + having the writing/thinking ability to express it → they come to express it in correct form
- i think: the pre-requisites of this challenge makes reaching it very euphoric - like no other challenge
- however -
- a close friend of mine used to say ‘fighting is for brokies’
- on HATE
- all hate comes from the mind, but not the soul
- when i grew up, it’s become so obvious for me now that any hate often masks a deeper emotion that says something about you more than who or what do you hate
- in other words, you wouldn’t hate someone or something unless there’s something inside you that ought to be fixed in order to radically eliminate that hate - because if it was, you wouldn’t have experienced hate from the beginning
- so today when i see myself experiencing even the slightest form of hate - i look inwards rather than outwards: what does this mean for me? what am i hiding from myself?
- the reason i think this ‘thinking about the thought (hate)’ is critical, is because otherwise (if i didn’t do this,) it leads to an array of things that i wouldn’t probably want!
- by subscribing to ‘hate’ - i’m acknowledging i will get the hate package
- which means im probably closer to a bunch of other low-frequency emotions and thoughts and probably away from a bunch of things that i actually want and aim for
FUCKING RATATYPE